⏳ The Agonizing Wait: What Happens After You Order? 🚨
You've navigated the protocol, submitted the payment, and sent the Sacred Email Signal. Congratulations! Your cake now exists in a delicate, transitional state between batter and brilliance.
The Delivery Deadline Dilemma
Delivery times are highly dependent on the complexity of your cake and its sheer volume. A small, simple sheet cake might be rushed out the door with only minimal fanfare. A towering, bespoke creation requires careful construction, meticulous packaging, and a driver who has taken a vow of silence.
- Standard Cakes (Layer or Sheet): Expect a delivery window of 2–3 hours from the agreed-upon pickup time.
- Bespoke or Tiered Cakes: Expect a slightly wider window, usually 3–4 hours, to account for necessary structural checks and slow-speed transport.
We promise to do everything in our power to get your cake to you safely and on time. Our dispatch team treats every delivery like a fragile, delicious hostage situation.
😱 The Dark Truth of the Missed Deadline
If your specified delivery period has passed, and your cake has not arrived, we must address the Only Cake Loss Clause.
We regret to inform you that this means one of two things:
- Your driver has been detained by a sudden, intense traffic jam (unlikely).
- Someone at Only Cake—likely a very tired, very hungry staff member, or possibly the Head Baker themselves—has succumbed to temptation and eaten your cake.
There is no middle ground. If the cake is late, the cake is gone.
We consider this an unfortunate occupational hazard. We will issue a full refund, but we cannot replace the lost cake, as it is now fueling the existential dread of a guilty employee. Please ensure your delivery instructions are crystal clear to avoid this tragedy!
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