The Guide to What You Can Order – Only Cakes

🚫 The Catalogue of Confections: What You Can (and Cannot) Order from Only Cake 📜

Welcome to the definitive list of what we sell! The name isn't just a catchy title; it's a mission statement. We are Only Cake. This means we are focused, we are obsessive, and we are blissfully ignorant of all other desserts.

✅ The Authorized Cake Inventory

If it meets the criteria of Leavened Structure (see our article, "What is Defined as Cake?"), we bake it. Here are the approved formats that fuel our existence:

The Layer Cake: Our bread and butter (if butter was also cake). This includes two or more layers of sponge, held together by fillings and covered in glorious, life-affirming buttercream or ganache.
The Sheet Cake: The utilitarian choice for maximum yield. Perfect for large crowds, office celebrations, or when you just need a huge, flat expanse of deliciousness.
The Cupcake: A miniature, portable layer cake. We accept these only because they are, structurally, single-serving cakes. Do not call them muffins.
The Loaf Cake / Pound Cake: Denser, richer, and often served sliced. It's cake, but with a robust, dependable demeanor.
The Bundt Cake: A ring-shaped masterpiece, often glazed rather than frosted. It’s cake wearing fancy attire.

💡 The Flavor Freedom: Within the boundaries of cake structure, we offer boundless flavor combinations—from classic vanilla and chocolate to spiced carrot and dark coffee. The flavor can be eccentric, but the form must be pure cake.

❌ The Forbidden Confectionery List (Do Not Ask)

We understand the confusion. Many desserts look like cake. They are served in slices. They are sweet. They are not cake and we do not serve them.

If you request any of the following, your order will be instantly rejected.

Forbidden Item	Why We Refuse It	Official Only Cake Classification
Pies and Tarts	They rely on a pastry crust, which is flaky and structurally inadequate.	Crust Crimes
Brownies and Blondies	Too dense. They are cookies disguised as bars.	Bar Impostors
Cheesecake	It is a custard, set by egg and dairy, not flour and leavening.	Custard Conspiracy
Cookies	Delicious, but small, flat, and lacking the vital sponge element.	Single-Serving Disappointment
Ice Cream Cake	A dessert assembly built around frozen water and dairy, not batter.	Temperature Treason
Scones or Muffins	They are breakfast items. We operate on a dessert schedule.	Breakfast Betrayal

🔥 The Final Rule: Our ovens only know how to bake cake. Our mixers only understand batter. Our decorators only speak the language of buttercream. If you're not ordering cake, you're knocking on the wrong door.